Wander Woman

Ok, here it is

http://hiscrossourpassion.blogspot.com/

Check it out.  Hope you enjoy it.

Hello friends!  Things have been very busy lately!  There have been some things I’ve wanted to share, but I’ve held off because my husband and I have decided to start a blog together.  We will be using a more user friendly site - YEAH!  We hope to not only share how God is working in our lives and what we are learning, but also pictures and everyday ramblings to make it more fun and interesting for you all.  Check back within the next week or so to find out the new web address.  Thanks to everyone who has been faithful to read my blog and to encourage me.  Love you all. 

Many times this past school year I have sinned against God and against my children.  I have lost my patience, I have been self-seeking, I have been easily angered, I have not extended grace, I have not encouraged………  I have wanted to quit - A lot!  I have let my feelings rule instead of God’s Truths.  I know that I need Tyler and he needs me and that my responses to him are only revealing what’s in my own heart.  I know God is using my children to change me and to draw me closer to Himself.  This year has been a real challenge to say the least and as the year comes to a close new trials are presenting themselves.  Shouldn’t “school stuff” be going away?  I recently chose to have my son tested using the SAT which was not a wise decision on my part.  My child has an endless supply of energy and has had a hard time focusing and sitting still all year.  Why did I think he would be able to sit for 2 1/2 hrs and do a test?  I didn’t even consider that.  It was and still is a very hard struggle for me not to become extremely discouraged with the fact that he guessed his way through this test (colored in some circles at the top, some in the middle and some at the bottom), cheated, and went at his own pace instead of following the teacher.  My mom-in-law has reminded me that we cannot be afraid for our children to fail.  It is through failures that our children learn how to become adults.  I feel like he knew the material (we even did a test prep book), but the results of the test are obviously not going to be an accurate reflection of his progress this year.  Chances are we will have to pay more money to have him tested using a different method.  Hard lesson learned.  I think I can have unrealistic expectations for my first grader and can be somewhat of a taskmaster just wanting to get school done so we (or I) can move on to other things.  More times than not, my home has not been full of joy and laughter as it should be.  I am now faced with what to do next year.  Do I repeat certain subjects maybe using a different curriculum to ensure mastery?  Do I participate in a co-op again?  What curriculum is best for my non-stop boy?  What will grab his attention and make him excited about learning?  I am considering taking the focus off of academics next year and instead spending time building his character, working on heart issues, and strengthening our relationship.  After all, that is the most important thing, right?  Today, after reading, another question came to my mind and I cannot seem to quit thinking about it.  Why do I homeschool?  I am going to think about this and answer in a later post.  In the meantime, please be praying for me.  I have a lot of decisions to make over the next couple of months.  If anyone has any suggestions or advice I would love to hear about it.  Please also pray that I will not worry or grow anxious, but trust in Him and in His faithfulness.  Pray that when discouraging and “I cannot do this” thoughts start to creep in I can battle them with Truth.  I know God is at work and by his grace next year can be different.  Pray that my children will know how much I love them and that I will take advantage of every opportunity to express that to them.  Thanks for reading.   

“My sin isn’t really that bad.”

All Eve did, when you think about it, was take one bite of something God told her not to eat.  What was the big deal?  The big deal was that God said “Don’t,” and Eve said “I will.”  That one, simple act of eating something God said was off limits produced enormous consequences - in her body; her mind, will and emotions; her relationship with God; and her marriage.  That one “little” sin influenced her husband to sin, which resulted in the entire human race being plunged into sin.  Like a rock thrown into a pond, the ripples caused by sin go on and on.  If only we could see that every sin is a big deal, that every sin is an act of rebellion and cosmic treason, that every time we choose our way instead of God’s way, we are revolting against the God and King of the universe.  As John Bunyan put it, “One leak will sink a ship; and one sin will destroy a sinner.  The way to see the thruth about sin is to see it in the light of who God is.  When we gaze upon the brilliance of His untarnished holiness, we become acutely aware of the hideousness of our sin.  Because the puritans walked in close communion with God, they cultivated a sense of the horror of their sin, no matter how insignificant it might seem to others.  This perspective comes out in the kind of prayers they prayed:

Unmask to me sin’s deformity,
that I may hate it, abhor it, flee from it…
Let me never forget that the heinousness of sin
lies not so much in the nature of the sin committed,
as in the greatness of the person sinned against.

Children who have night terrors are usually described as ‘bolting upright’ with their eyes wide open, with a look of fear and panic, and letting out a ‘blood curdling scream’. These kids will usually also be sweating, breathing fast and have a rapid heart rate.   And although it will seem like they are awake, during a night terror, children will appear confused, will not be consolable and won’t recognize you.

The night before last, my husband and I, awoke to the above discription.  My oldest child, Tyler, has had night terrors ever since he was little.  They are not as frequent as they used to be though.  Praise God!  Night terrors can be very scary and distressing for a parent.  I pray hard everytime he has an episode.  But, this is not the only thing.  He also has nightmares that send him running to our bed in the middle of the night.  He wants a nightlight on.  And he always has to have some type of noise in the background.  We cannot say bedtime prayers without asking for protection and good dreams.  Often times, we pray several times before he finally drifts off to sleep and especially if the, “Lord, please give us good dreams,” gets left out.  We have Psalm 4:8 “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety,” written on a card and he sleeps with it in his pillowcase.  While I do not have night terrors and nightmares, I can sometimes struggle with fear.  I used to never stay alone overnight, even after I was married with kids.  The Lord has done a work in my life and this is no longer the case.  When that fear does start to creap in, I try to quickly remind myself of God’s promises and trust Him. 

Here is some of what was in Morning and Evening yesterday.  It was perfect timing given what had happened the night before.  God is good! 

Psalm 91:5 “You will not fear the terror of night.”

…….for whatever the terror is, the promise is that the believer shall not be afraid.  Why should one be?  Let’s put it more specifically, why should we?  God our father is here, and will be here all through the lonely hours; He is an almighty Watcher, a sleepless Guardian, a faithful Friend.  Nothing can happen without His direction, for even hell itself is under His control.  Darkness is not dark to Him.  He has promised to be a wall of fire around His people - and who can break through such a barrier?  Worldlings may well be afraid, for they have an angry God above them, a guilty conscience within them, and a yawning hell beneath them; but we who rest in Jesus are saved from all these through rich mercy.  If we succumb to foolish fear we shall dishonor our profession and lead others to doubt the reality of godliness.  We ought to be afraid of being afraid, lest we should vex the Holy Spirit by foolish distrust……..  It may be night in the soul, but there is no need to be terrified, for the God of love never changes.   

“Though the night be dark and dreary,
Darkness cannot hide from Thee; 
Thou are He, who, never weary, 
Watchest where Thy people be.”

I recently listened to CJ’s message entitled “Encourage.”  Here are my notes:

Ephesians 6:24

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths,”

“Let no” is a command. Corrupt talk hinders cultivation of godly relationships.  It penetrates and spreads decay.  According to the Savior, every word matters.  We will give account of every careless word we speak on the day of judgment.  How many of my words are characterized by corrupt talk?  Death is in the power of the tongue.

“but only such as is good for building up,”

Edifying words are God centered and cross centered.  They are rooted in Scripture.  They are not just polite, nice, flattering, superficial words.  God is at work in every believer.  Most are more aware of sin instead of grace.  They are unaware of God’s work in their life.  We have the privilege and joy and responsibility to edify and discern how God is at work in others lives.  When we identify evidences of grace in others we leave behind a soul that has been built up and edified. 
Where do we find evidences of grace?  What are they?  We can begin by reading the lists of the Fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-23) and the Gifts of the Spirit (I Cor 12:1-11).  CJ says we won’t be able to exhaust these 2 lists in our lifetime as we observe God at work in those we love, serve, and care for. 

How discerning am I of evidences of grace?  Do I build souls from the usage of edifying words?  Normally, when there is an absence of encouragement and edifying words, there is a presence of pride and self-righteousness.  Those who are proud are not concerned with others and can be critical.  The humble care and want to serve.  They have a heart transformed by the gospel.  When you examine your words, you’ll discover your heart.

Ferguson said, “Are use of the tongue is an evidence of the condition of our heart.  It is the hinge on which the door into our soul swings open in order to reveal our spirit.  In effect our words are like so many media people rushing to file their reports on the condition of our soul.”  What report do my words file about my soul?

“as fits the occasion,”

We must know, listen, study, and ask questions to someone so we can determine what words are most appropriate for them and what will serve them.

I Thess 5:14 “And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.”

“that it may give grace to those who hear.”

This is God’s purpose for our speech.  We are all in need of grace.  We need to ask the Lord to help us to discern what kind of grace someone needs.  Does my family and friends experience grace in and through my words?  Does my conversation give grace?  Do I give grace in correction?  We should never correct anyone without reminding them of the gospel.

Please pray for me.  I desperately need to grow in this area.  Encouraging others, especially my children, is not something that is easy for me.  I need God’s help.  I want to change. 

 

When the lady in the below video said, “God is with me everywhere I go,” it really struck me.  I already knew this, but it is something I have been thinking about lately.  I had just shared with some friends this past Sun a conviction the Lord brought to my heart.  Sometimes I can go places or participate in things I know are not pleasing to the Lord.  Wherever I am or whatever I am doing is not helping me grow in my relationship with the Lord or bringing glory to God.  If I am trying to “hide,” not wanting anyone to know, it is a good indication that I am in sin.  I want to be a light.  I want people to see something different in me.  If an unbeliever friend or family member saw me somewhere I shouldn’t be, I would not be setting a good example and it could really hinder any attempt to share the gospel.  A friend asked me if this was fear of man/what people may think of me or if it was a true desire to bring honor and glory to God in all I do.  I think this is a good thing to think about.  I don’t want to be motivated out of the fear of man.  I have always been a person that wants peace at any cost (even if that means sinning or not speaking up when I know I should).  I don’t like conflict.  I always want everyone to be happy.  I want to be friends with everyone.  This is definitely an area where I can grow. 

Heb 4:13 “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give an account.”

Nothing can be hidden from God.  He knows about everyone everywhere, and everything about us is wide open to his all-seeing eyes.  God sees all we do and all we think.  Even when we are unaware of his presence, he is there.  When we try to hide from him, he sees us.  We can have no secrets from God.  It is so comforting to know and realize that although God knows us intimately, he still loves us.

This is pretty incredible.  I know I wouldn’t have reacted the same way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDmp967UMds

Death is a king of terror, but not to the sheep of Christ.  Death cannot separate us from the love of God, and therefore it can do us no real harm; it will kill the body, but cannot touch the soul.  Spurgeon says, “What a bright light may shine within us when it is all dark without!  How firm, how happy, how calm, how peaceful we may be, when the world shakes to and fro, and the pillars of the earth are removed!  Even death itself, with all its terrible influences, has no power to suspend the music of a Christian’s heart, but rather makes that music become more sweet, more clear, more heavenly, until the last kind act which death can do is to let the earthly strain melt into heavenly chorus, the temporal joy into the eternal bliss!  Let’s have confidence, then, in the blessed Spirit’s power to comfort us.”  This lady had no fear in death.  I thought of this song we just sang Sunday:

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

More to come…………

On the Metro Moms blog they are talking about “Spring Cleaning of the Heart.”  It was said that many of us tolerate reamining sin in our hearts because we’ve become so comfortable with it.  Because most of us are not dealing with murder, adultry, or other “really sinful” issues, we tend to tolerate our jealousy, self-pity, unforgiveness, anger, or gossip.  Bridges says, “Our acceptable sins are subtle in the sense that they deceive us into thinking they are not so bad, or not thinking of them as sins, or even worse, not thinking of them at all.  All sin is serious because all sin is breaking God’s law.”  There are sins that I continually fight against, but I’ve been thinking about sins that I may just be tolerating.  Metro Moms asked this: “What sin patterns in your life most hinder you from being a skillful, faithful worker in your home?”  They gave some examples that I think are applicable to me: procrastination, laziness, and selfishness.  A lot of times I can do what I want instead of what I ought.  I avoid chores that I dislike.  I think about them, but thinking doesn’t get the job done.  My home is normally picked up, but I want to be more organized and clutter free.  I know this would create less chaos especialy when my life is already so busy.  I would like my home to be presentable and not an embarassment should someone just stop by or decide to throw me a surprise party :)  I want it to be open to others at anytime.  A place of peace, rest, relaxation.  Some of the things I need to do, like organize a zillion pictures, can overwhelm me, but little by little it will get done.  I just have to start and make no excuse.  The less you do, the less you want to do, and the more useless you become.  To keep excuses from making you useless, stop making useless excuses. 

Lord, I pray that you will give me strength, energy, fresh ideas, and perseverance as I try to put off these sins.  Help me not to complain, but instead be content and satisfied and grateful for the home you have provided for me.  A lot of times, things get messier before cleaner.  Help me to keep the final result in mind.  Help me to set realistic goals and to know my limitations.  Help me not to eat the bread of idleness so that I can serve you and my family well.  Amen.

I found this and thought you may like it too.  I haven’t read them all but plan to.  Scripture references are from Proverbs.

THE DILIGENT                      THE LAZY                                             REFERENCE
Become rich                         Are soon poor                                            10:4
Gather crops early                Sleep during harvest                                  10:5
                                           Are an annoyance                                      10:26
Have abundant food             Chase fantasies                                         12:11
Hard work returns rewards                                                                    12:14
Will rule                               Will become slaves                                    12:24
Prize their possessions         Waste good resources                                12:27
Are fully satisfied                 Want much but get little                             13:4
Bring profit                          Experience poverty                                     14:23
Have an easy path                Have trouble all through life                        15:19
                                           Are like those who destroy                          18:9
                                           Go hungry                                                  19:15
                                           Won’t feed themselves                                19:24
                                           Won’t plow in season                                   20:4
Stay awake and have food     Love sleep and grow poor                            20:13
to spare
Make careful plans                Make hasty speculations                              21:5
                                           Love pleasure and become poor                   21:17
Give without sparing            Desire things but refuse to work for them     21:25, 26
                                           Are full of excuses                                       22:13
Will serve before kings                                                                           22:29
                                          Sleep too much which leads to poverty           24:30-34
Reap abundance through      Experience poverty because of                      28:19
hard work                            laziness

I thought this went well with my last post.  I really enjoy reading Spurgeon. 

“It is a curious fact that there is such a thing as being proud of grace.  A person says, “I have great faith, I shall not fall; poor little faith may, but I never shall.”  “I have fervent love,” says another, “I can stand, there is no danger of my going astray.”  They who boast of grace have little grace to boast of.  Some who do this imagine that their graces can keep them, not realizing that the stream most flow constantly from the fountainhead, or else the brook will soon be dry.  If a continuous stream of oil does not reach the lamp, even though it burns brightly today, it will smoke tomorrow, and send out a noxious odor.  Take heed that you do not glory in your graces, but let all your glorying and confidences be in Christ and His strength, for this is the only way you can be kept from falling.  Pray more often.  Spend longer periods of time in holy adoration.  Read the Scriptures more earnestly and constantly.  Watch your lives more carefully.  Live nearer to God.  Take the best examples for your pattern.  Let your conversation emit the fragrance of heaven.  Let your hearts be perfumed with affection for the souls of others.  So live that others may recognize that you have been with Jesus, and have learned of Him; and when that happy day shall come, when He whom you love shall say, “Come up higher,” may it be your happiness to hear Him say, “You have fought the good fight, you have finished the race, you have kept the faith.  Now there is in store for you the crown of righteousness.”  On, Christian, with care and caution!  On, with holy fear and trembling!  On, with faith and confidence in Jesus alone, and let your constant petition be, “Sustain me according to your promise.”  He, and He alone, is able “to keep you from falling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy.”